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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Judgement

We have all done it, because we are not perfect, we are Human. You know what I'm talking about.  I've seen a Mom in a store with a child who was wild and screaming and the Mom didn't do anything and I've thought to myself, "Not my Child, I wouldn't put up with that".  Or I've seen a parent yell at a child when I've thought it wasn't necessary.  The truth is, it's wrong.  We don't know what it really going on.  Is a Mom ignoring a child who has behavior issues due to something like Autism and that is how she handles it?  Did a Parent just lose a job and is stressed about how they are going to pay the bills and they yell at their child in public (and probably feel horrible about it later).

Why do we do it?  Why can't we just smile and go on?  It doesn't matter if we are rich, poor, black or white the majority of us Moms all have the same goal - at the end of the day we want the very best for our children and are doing the very best that we can.  We want happy, healthy, adjusted children.  Let's give each other a break!

Yesterday, I was at the Nephrologist with Ethan and he was fussy.  I mean, really do you blame the kid?  The minute we step into a Doctor's office he completely freaks out - he is terrified.  I think if we walked by a store selling scrubs he would probably fall apart.  I have learned though that if I hold him his sling he is easier to comfort.  So I do, all 23 pounds 30 inches and almost 19 months of him.  People stare, I wonder if they are staring because he is a toddler and I'm carrying him around like a baby, if they are staring because he is screaming or perhaps they are staring because he looks a little different.  Who knows?  However, yesterday a Mother (complete stranger to me) was sitting in the waiting room with her 3 year old and after an hour of me consoling Ethan in his sling she asked me how old he was.I answered, "almost 19 months".  In which she replied "You need to put him down and let him run around, that's what his problem is, you are holding him and treating him like a baby"  For a moment, I think I was a little in shock and lot's of not very nice things ran through my head like "Hey Lady, I would love to put him down, but guess what, he can't walk or crawl or if I put him down he is going to scream and breakdown because he thinks he may be stuck with a needle or held down against his will or perhaps he may have his 7th surgery".  Luckily, it was our turn to see the Doctor and so I didn't....I should have but I didn't....

It got me to thinking though, about how we judge other Mothers when we don't know all the facts.  I'm pretty sure I have enough sense not to say something like that to a total stranger just like I would never ask a woman who I didn't know when her baby was due.  You never know, maybe she just had a big lunch and she's not pregnant.  Yeah, I'm sure I wouldn't say anything that stupid out loud but I might think it.  I'm gonna work on that because us Mom's got enough to worry about besides what other Moms are thinking about us.

However, if you are that Mom I saw last week at the Pediatrician's office who was yapping on the phone to your friend about what Club you were gonna go to over the weekend and your kid tried to get your attention about 5 times because she wanted you to read to her and finally you told her to "Stop it, can't you see I'm on the phone" ?  Well, I'll be that Mom in the corner with a really big toddler in a sling trying to console him and thinking to myself "Hey, Dumbass get off the phone and give your kid some attention" because after all I'm only human....

4 comments:

The Neffs said...

Adoarable picture. Your right I know I at times make judgements or am thinking something I shouldn't...

Moms are really hard on other Moms for some reason which is sad because your right at the end of the day we all want the same basic things for our children.

Great post!!

Bellismom said...

LOL! I am totally that person sitting in the corner thinking about what dumbasses people are. I have gotten some pretty rude and ignorant comments myself.

佳蓉佳蓉 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

翰豪翰豪翰豪 said...

噴泉的高度,不會超過它的源頭。一個人的事業也是如此,它的成就絕不會超過自己的信念。.................................................................