Sunday, October 4, 2009

Ethan's Story - Part 4 - Sweet Ethan is born

The rest of my pregnancy was filled with stress, doubt and fear. To be brutally honest, I had a hard time bonding with Ethan. I was so afraid that the moment I did, I would lose him. I couldn't bear it, so at times I felt very disconnected from my pregnancy. I wouldn't buy anything, no clothes, no crib, no showers no nothing - that way if something happened I wouldn't have baby reminders at home. Very strange.....but until you have been through it you wouldn't understand! I know I didn't.

I was at the doctor's office every couple of weeks having ultrasounds and check ups to make sure all was OK with Ethan. I would bring my little notebook to take notes, I had to know everything, I needed to know each time exactly what his kidney's measured because I knew that when they got to be 10 cm we were in trouble. The last time Dr. L told me the size I was about 7 months pregnant and they were at 13 cm - I stopped taking notes after that.

This Ultrasound was taken in September, more than 2 months before he was born. Notice all large his belly his and how the 2 kidneys look like big black holes - that is because they were filled with so much urine.

I studied everything I could about kidney disorders. We visited a Urologist at the Children's Hospital and he told us the different disorders that Ethan might have. I knew exactly what to expect when he was born, or at least I thought!

Remember, Anne Marie, my Bestest BFF - she was pregnant also and the same day I went to see the Pediatric Urologist who gave us some grim news, he said that whatever the outcome, our little boy had a very long road ahead of him. Well, she was waiting for me to call her and tell her how the appointment went but when I got into my car that afternoon, she beat me to it and told me she was on the way to the hospital to have an emergency C-section because she was in labor - 6 weeks early.

I would quickly follow her....2 weeks later. One of the things that I had learned in all of my studying was that if I felt delayed movement in the womb I needed to get to the Doctor ASAP. You see when a baby has kidneys that are enlarged, if they get to big they will press upon his lungs and he will be unable to survive in the womb if the pressure becomes to much.

On Monday, December 1, I went in for my normal appointment and told Dr. V that he was not as active as before, they hooked me up for a stress test and everything looked good. Dr. V was a little nervous so she decided to send me over to Ultrasound where Dr. L took a look and said the kidneys were more enlarged than before and my OB (Dr. V) and Perionatologist (Dr. L) decided I would be admitted the next day for Steroid Shots to help strengthen Ethan's Lungs because they thought delivery would be soon. I was 34 weeks along. I spent the night in the hospital and received both sets of shots and we all prayed I could keep him snug in the womb for 48 hours. You see, it takes 48 hours for the steroids to set in. I was released late Wednesday night with instructions to see my Perionatoligst the very next morning. I went in that morning to see my Perionatoligist with my bag packed. In fact, when my husband left for work that morning I told him I wouldn't be home - I knew the next time I slept in my bed I would no longer have Sweet Ethan safe and secure inside of me. I kissed my children goodbye and was scared, very scared. I had been up since 5 am because Ethan was not moving. I ate anything sweet I could get my hands on to get him moving but he was sluggish and I knew that we were at the end of the pregnancy.

I was right. Dr. L took one quick look at the Ultrasound and asked if I wanted an ambulance to take me over to the hospital. I was right across the street from my parents and I had already given my Dad a heads up that I would probably need a ride. Walking to my car with tears in my eyes, I called Chris first and than my Dad and told him I was on my way....

I checked into the hospital, very scared and VERY swollen. One of my good friends had also had the steroid shots when she was in the hospital having her twins so she had warned me that they may make look like the Michelin Man, she didn't lie! I was huge!

I spent the day being monitored and the plan was for induction the next morning. My dear friend Jen (the Michelin Man girl) came by to see me and held my hand and cried with me, I was so very scared, I was scared of the unknown.

The next morning my Mom came and they started my pitocin. I was an absolute mess. I was so afraid of what was going to happen to my poor baby and I was honestly afraid that he might not make it. Would he make it through childbirth? Would he die after he was born? These were all things that the Doctors' had prepared me for. Prepare??? How, actually do you prepare a Mother for that? My labor was quick and fast and Sweet Ethan was born at 12:32 pm with two NICU doctors and a handful of NICU nurses awaiting his arrival. He only needed a little big of oxygen and he was screaming when he came out. They handed him to me and I saw this sweet precious child that I had been so scared of loving....it was over...I was in absolutely in love.

I had been so worried this entire pregnancy about his kidneys, but what we didn't know was that was only the beginning of our problems. The kidneys would end up being on the bottom of the list, a list that was very very long and scary.

More to come later....


o0pink0o said...

Thanks for posting your experiences as it helps me A LOT and you are giving me ideas and preparing me for whatever might happen.

Diana Bleu said...

when, my daughters kidney got to 10cm, i stoped taking notes too. and i had problems buying things. I hope his smile.. cures your heart some now? sorry i keep writting little at a time on your blog but i can only read so much before i am filled with tears.. he looks awesome in the newborn pics!