You see I am a control freak, Type A, OCD whatever you want to call it, I am it. I keep lists and notes and check things off as I go. I am a planner, so this last 2 years has rocked my world. Totally and completely not in my life plan. Ha! I once heard a saying that if you want to see God laugh, make plans. Guess he is laughing now!!
Last night after I got home, the kids got baths, I made lunches, did 2 loads of laundry and started picking up Ethan's toys off of the floor. And that is when it happened. It hit me like a ton of bricks that big ugly monster that creeps up on me just when I think I can't go any further. Have you ever seen that movie Monsters Inc? Well, it's like I'm a little girl in bed and a really dark scary monster is staring at me from the closest. I can't breathe and I can't move. He starts talking fast and I can't make him stop, here is what he said to me last night....
- What if this is it? What if this is the last time you pick up Elmo and put him in the toybox?
- What if you should have been holding him more on Monday instead of mopping the floor and putting away laundry?
- What if the next time you see him he is not sleeping peacefully in his Daddy's arms because he has gone to be with Jesus? Cause this Mito is gonna get him. This is something Mito kids die from, stupid colds that turn into pneumonia. This is how it happens...you are gonna outlive him.
Oh I hate that dark Monster. But just when I think I can't get up and fight him. God whispers in my ear, Peace my child, I will not forsake you. So I get up off of that floor and put Elmo back on the floor because Ethan will be home to play with him again and walk up the stairs to go to bed and find this: