Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ethan's Story - Part 3 - Down Syndrome Negative, Now What?

So the very next day, Thursday, we went in for our visit with the Perionatologist and to have a Level 4 ultrasound. As you can imagine, we were very nervous and I remember sitting in the waiting groom and we kept telling each other over and over, it's going to be OK, no matter what we find out - it will be OK. I tried flipping through some of the magazines on the table trying to keep my mind off of the visit. I remember seeing a couple coming out of the Ultrasound area and the husband had his arms around his wife because she was crying. I remember watching a very young, probably 16 or 17 year old girl who was pregnant going in for an ultrasound and coming out all giggly and I remember being a little mad. Funny, how your mind works...

It was finally our turn and the technician came in and rolled the wand around my growing belly and we saw our sweet baby, he was moving, he was kicking - he has to be fine. Actually, we didn't know yet that it was a boy but I asked her in the beginning if she could tell and she said that it was so early, probably not, but she quickly stopped and looked up at us and said "It's a Boy" I started crying because down deep I really wanted another little boy. She spent a long time taking pictures and finally when she was done, she excused herself to get the doctor. When Dr. T came in she was very calm and matter of fact - "your baby boy has 3 markers for down syndrome, a very thick neck, wide hips and very enlarged kidneys, your baby if very very sick, I suggest an amnio right away because looking at the size of his kidneys, he may not survive and you should know what genetic abnormalities he has so that you can make a decision" I remember my heart racing, the tears flowing and my husband holding my hand. Dr. T left the room to give us some time, she wanted to do the amnio right away, as in now and wanted to give us some privacy to make our decision. I remember screaming out "Why God, NO, NO, NO, this is not happening to us" Finally, my husband took control, and calmed me down, I don't remember exactly what he did or what he said but he made it OK and we decided that we would go through with the amnio.

The results of the FISH would be back on Monday so I spent the entire weekend resting from the Amnio and reading everything I could on Down Syndrome. By Sunday, I was in a complete state of calm and I knew that if God had given us a baby with Down Syndrome we could handle it, I had accepted our fate. We had been thinking about naming him Brody but decided we needed a a name that had a good solid meaning. In the Bible Ethan means Strength and Endurance and we knew right away that would be the name of our sweet baby.

Monday came and the call came that our FISH showed negative for Downs Syndrome. What? I was all prepared, the doctor's told us we had a 98% chance of DS? Ok, God, what is going on here? I quickly learned to stop questiong God....

1 comment:

Shelly said...

I am really enjoying reading this story of your little one's birth. God is truly the BOSS. What He says goes. Can't no one on Earth or any where else, change what He decides to do.