Ethan's Story Part 2 - Shocking News

Weeks went by and I was in complete and utter shock but sick sick sick. I had never been so sick in my entire life. I had three other children so I knew what morning sickness was but this was different. There were days were I could barely make it out of the bed without getting sick. It was horrible. Now, looking back and talking with other Mother's of "Special" children I have learned that sometimes when a baby has "issues inside the womb" the mother can be very sick.

I went in for my 8 week check and had my ultrasound and everything looked good. I went back at 12 weeks and they asked if I wanted a new screening done, this would check to see if the baby had any signs of downs or other genetic issues. This was a new early test that they had just started doing. I figured that since I had three healthy children and I was only 33 I didn't need it and it wouldn't have mattered anyway, right? I went back at 16 weeks and had my blood work done to check for the usual stuff and the special test that checks for down syndrome. That was on a Monday. On Wednesday, right before I was getting ready to leave the office, my doctor's office called, I saw it on the caller id and immediately my stomach fell, I knew they only called with results if there was a problem. It was my Doctor's Nurse Practitioner and she said "I am calling to tell you that your blood work has come back positive for Down Syndrome, please don't freak out because most of the time these tests are false positives, however, your level is 1-51" Later I found out that 1-51 was actually a pretty high risk number. She instructed me to come in the next day to meet with a Perionatologist and have a Level 4 Ultrasound.

I remember trying to call Chris and for whatever reason, I couldn't get him at home or on his cell. So I called my Bestest BFF, who don't forget was also pregnant at the same time and we had the same Doctor. She somehow got me from my office to my house by calmly talking to me all the way, I don't remember what we talked about but I do remember I couldn't have done it without her. I would quickly learn just how much I would end up needing her.

When I got my home, my wonderful husband did what he always does. He put his arms around me and told me it would be OK and we would get through this. At that moment, it all came back to me, the night sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing like a baby when I found I was pregnant....this was it....this is my fault...I did this ....

More to come later....